the only thing i'm going to say about vote blue no matter who
One time I was checking out at Target and I picked a line.
Turns out, my line was, well, NOT successful.
The front person signed up for a Target card. The next was buying a thousand jars of baby food. The guy right in front of me was a couponer. He may have even been King Couponer. He had a top-of-the-line accordion wallet and everything.
Finally, it was my turn. And after I’d fully committed by unloading my whole cart onto the belt, the cashier held up a finger in front of my face and said, “Sorry, be right back.”
HE WAS NOT “RIGHT” “BACK.”
After what felt like, oh, I don’t know, FOUR YEARS of miserable hell in this line, exchanging grim solidarity with the other people behind me, three other check stands opened up.
People started leaving the line behind me to check out with these other cashiers who’d just come on shift. They were bright-eyed and juiced up. They were offering customers new Target apps that I’d never heard of.
But me? Nuh uh. I stayed where I WAS. All those people who left my line to jump on the other lines? TRAITORS. Where were their principles? Where was their LOYALTY? Didn’t they believe in our line?
I’d committed to THIS LINE and I was going to CHECK OUT HERE and if I couldn’t check out RIGHT THE FUCK HERE then I was NEVER GOING TO BUY TOILET PAPER AND BOBBY PINS AND AN IMPULSE COFFEE MUG WITH A LLAMA ON IT AGAIN, SO HELP ME GOD.
Do you see how it sounds when you say “I won’t vote blue unless my candidate gets the nomination?”
You’re forgetting that the point is NOT to have this ONE cashier ring you up - the point is to buy what you need, get out of the store, and get on with your life.
Sometimes, the line you first picked doesn’t work out for some reason. And I get it - it’s human nature to hesitate when the time comes to jump to a new line. When we calculate the best move, we forget to begin from where we are right this second. We tend to want to factor in the cost of time already spent in line, time that is gone, past, and can never be retrieved.
“I’ve already spent so much time here. People have seen me standing here for so long. I even encouraged other people to join this line, thinking it was the best one. I’ll just wait a little longer.”
Whoever you support in the primary, for God’s sake get out and keep supporting them! This thing is far from over.
Whenever you see systemic, crooked bullshit that makes our elections far from fair, for God’s sake speak up and take action to stop it! This thing needs accountability and it’s looking like you and I are the last line of defense here.
Whatever mistakes our candidates make, especially when those mistakes reveal critical flaws in their ability to represent ALL Americans with compassion and justice, for God’s sake TELL THEM! Hold them accountable and challenge them to keep growing. This thing was designed for YOU to make it work. These levers were built for YOUR hands.
But when the nominee, whoever they are, takes the stage, don’t forget that this isn’t about who’s ringing you up. It’s about getting people fed. It’s about getting home safely. The time you’ve spent in this line wasn’t wasted, even if it was enraging, and it’s perfectly fine to still be pissed off about what happened four minutes, four days, four weeks, or four years ago.
But calculate your best move based on where you are, right that second. Everything that’s happened is past your ability to choose it anymore.
Vote as if the choice was brand new to you.
As if nobody had ever before offered you the chance to check a box and keep Donald Trump in office for four more years. Or, you know, the chance to check a box next to the words “I think the fuck not, mon frere,” and boot his ass the hell to the curb.
This is my stance. I’m supporting the candidate I support in the primary, and whoever earns the nomination will get my vote, period. They’ll also get my criticism and if their behavior demands it, my opposition. But they will get my vote.
Let’s get the fuck out of Target already.