fight like hell
Medical practitioners often say that when they hear hoof beats they think of horses, not zebras.
They learned, through practice and experience, to accept that the most obvious explanation is more likely than a fantastical anomaly.
When I hear the hoof beats in Ohio, Alabama, and Georgia, I think, “Our government hates women. Our politicians want to disenfranchise women. Especially poor women, and especially women of color, because they are the women most likely to vote for their opposition.”
So riddle me this, Doctor Logical: is my diagnosis a horse or a zebra?
tough call
LOOKS LIKE A HORSE TO ME, DOCTOR McACTUALLY.
LOOKS LIKE SEABISCUIT IS COMIN’ TO TOWN.
I DON’T SEE NO FUCKING STRIPES ON THAT BEAST.
And yet, you’re trying to convince me that the screamingly obvious truth to anyone who’s read a fucking Harry Potter book is actually a zebra, a wildly fantastic and unlikely conclusion to draw. No, no, no, the government doesn’t hate women. No, no, no, the current administration doesn’t have a vested interest in the continuing widespread oppression of the populations most likely to oppose it! Don’t be ridiculous!
According to you, it’s so outlandishly unicorn fairy dusted nonsensical to watch state after state reduce human women to fetus incubators and play with the idea of making “false rape accusation” a prosecutable offense. You know what’s funny about that is that rape can be a he-said-she-said private thing that happens without witnesses, but the act of reporting a rape demands a third-party witness, which essentially makes the act of reporting your rape an act of self-incrimination for rape survivors since we know that less than one fucking percent of rape cases lead to felony convictions.
I think we need to run some more tests
No but you tell me, Doctor Knowsthethings, how should I interpret this data? Since my analysis is clearly so rich in childish fantasy.
I can’t wait for you to explain why, between the two hetero people that engage in intercourse that results in a pregnancy, the woman is the one who can be charged with a felony for seeking medical treatment so that she can have the exact same fucking relationship with that intercourse that her goddamn male partner does, which is to say: I am a human with a sexual appetite for which I should not be punished.
I CANNOT WAAAAAAIT, Doctor Typesparagraphs, for you to perform breathtaking mental gymnastics to explain to me why I’m - LOL! - dreaming when I conclude that a party held up by white men is making abortion a felony as part of an intentional strategy to make women (especially poor women and women of color) felons who cannot vote.
(ETA: the above parenthetical originally read “especially poor and minority women.” I honestly can’t tell you why. It’s not a term I typically use because it belittles people of color. I apologize for using that word without considering its implications. It was thoughtless and my word choices matter. Thanks to the reader who pointed it out.)
THAT IS A MOTHERFUCKING HORSE, DOCTOR PANTSONFIRE
Cut the horse shit, Doctor Veryfinepeopleonbothsides. Cut it right the fuck out.
You know exactly what this is because if anyone gave a flying fuck about the children we would have vegetables in our school lunches and teachers making six figures. It was never about the babies and if you still think it is then you’re a nonsense flatearthing person who probably needs to seek medical attention because humans weren’t meant to live with their heads in the sand like that.
I’m not overreacting and neither are my friends. The colonization of my body is on the fucking table here, and so is the integrity of my democracy, the sanctity of my citizenship, and my god damn life.
And you should be ashamed of the fact that you’re willing to stand by and stroke your chin, Doctor Whocansay, Doctor Calmdownladies, Doctor Notsobad, and watch a stampede assault the women of America while you pontificate, over the sounds of our screams, from your safe fucking chair in the stands, surrounded by all the other men, about whether this is a herd of horses or a dazzle of zebras crushing human beings in front of your stupid thinking face, Doctor Thoughtexperiment.
Shame on you. We all know what this is and if you don’t you need to get your ass back to school.
It’s time to fight like hell.
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