11:04-11:49 pm
Katie plugs in her phone, switches off the lamp, punches up her pillows, and rolls over.
She sighs.
Brain: WAIT!
Katie: What?
Brain: You can't go to sleep yet?
Katie: I have to go to sleep. It's past 11.
Brain: No! No, you can't!
Katie: Why not?
Brain: Because you don't know ANYTHING about Margo Martindale!
Katie: WHAT.
Katie rolls back over, grabs her phone, googles "Margo Martindale."
Katie: You're right. I didn't know anything about Margo Martindale.
Katie reads some more...
Katie clicks off phone.
Katie: Margo Martindale. Check.
Lights off, rolls over.
Katie: Good night, brain.
Brain: WAIT!
Katie: Shhhhhhhhh.
Brain: No I'm so serious right now. This is serious.
Katie: What?
Brain: You didn't set out your clothes for tomorrow yet! You have breakfast with Allison and Sawyer tomorrow morning!
Katie: I stopped setting out my clothes at night.
Brain: But that was such a good idea! Since when?
Katie: Uhhhh since about 11th grade, brain. DUH.
Brain: You're so mean to me.
Katie: I'm really not. I do sudoku and take fish oil. You're welcome.
Brain: You ARE though. You're so mean to me, which probably means you hate yourself.
Katie: That's... that's just...
Brain: You hate yourself because deep down you're wondering if you're capable of something unforgivable.
Katie: ... but am I, though?
Brain: I don't know, Katie. I just don't know. There have been a lot of dark moments. Just today you yanked Chicken off his feet in the middle of a parking lot--
Katie: HE WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PARKING LOT, crossing the busy road ALONE!
Brain: But did you have to yank him back THAT hard?
Katie: Yes...
Brain: DID you, though?
Katie: I... I wasn't thinking... I mean, at the time I thought--
Brain: DID YOU?
Katie: No! I could have been gentler! But it's not like I left a mark or anything...
Brain: (slow clap) She didn't leave a mark, ladies and gentlemen.
Katie: Oh my god he's fine, I'm fine, it was an instinctive response to protect my child and I'd do it again if it meant keeping him safe.
Brain: You're right.
Katie: I know I'm right. I'd rather violently protect him than gently allow him to get hit by a car.
Brain: We should unpack that statement.
Katie: And we will. But tomorrow morning, okay?
Brain: You're right. You've had a long day. You're tired. You should definitely go to sleep.
Katie: This feels like a trick.
Brain: Nope. Go to sleep. Night.
Katie: ... ... ... Good night then.
Brain: Last thing.
Katie: No.
Brain: Real quick.
Katie: What.
Brain: But what if you have cancer? Would you write those letters to the kids that they would open on their birthdays and weddings and stuff?
Katie: That's it. I'm turning on The West Wing.
Brain: Oh good. Do the episode where they banter.
Katie: That's all of them.
Brain: You know, the one where Toby enters the room and he's juggling a messy sheaf of papers and stuff.
Katie: That's... every single one.
Brain: No, no, I'm thinking of the episode where CJ is wearing a silk blouse messily tucked into a pencil skirt. She's capable, but also quirky and put-upon, and she has kind of a weird, funny problem to deal with. Oh you know, the one when Donna plays the idiot stand-in for the audience so Josh can explain to Donna/the viewer what the issue is and what the stakes are and stuff.
Katie: Literally every episode of The West Wing.
Brain: Oh come on. Stop fucking around. You know, it's the one where Sam has that idealistic monologue. The one where Abby stands toe-to-toe with Jed. The one where Margaret awkwardly channels Andy Kaufman. The one where Leo looks like his suits are four sizes too big. The one where the lighting is all moody. The one where they say "not for nothin" and "don't talk to me like I'm other people," and "eat em up," and references to Gilbert and Sullivan abound.
Katie: I'm going with "The Drop In."
Brain:
(pops popcorn)
Katie: You know, next time you could just ask me for West Wing.
Brain: It's better if you come to it on your own, boo boo. Now close your eyes and go to sleep. I don't need you conscious to enjoy this civics lesson taught in the key of crackling wit.