cooking with chicken: fresh-squeezed oj

1. Carefully select one ripe orange.

2. Scream for your assistant to "PEEL IT!" 

3. Wait until the orange is peeled and your assistant has opened it and begun to separate the slices. Scream "LEAVE IT WHOLE!"

4. Repeat steps 1 thru 3.

5. Eat the orange like an apple, over a large bowl. Salivate heavily.

6. After you've eaten the orange, examine the mixture of pulpy orange drippings and foamy spit pooling in the bowl.

7. Fill an almost-empty milk cup with water. Pour the watermilk into the bowl. Stir, using one or more fingers.

8. Suck up 5 cc's of your fresh-squeezed oj in a children's medicine plunger. 

9. Present it to your mother. 

10. Watch her drink it. If you don't watch her, she won't drink it.

wow this looks so great for the next time I think I've ingested poison but I think wow what a treat gosh I can't wait to drink this-- WOAH IS THAT A NEW WATER WHEEL? AND AN EPISODE OF OCTONAUTS? HOLY COW! HOW DID THAT TV SHOW TURN ON? IT MUST BE MAGIC! GO! GO WATCH! I'll drink this you go somewhere else while I drink this okay I drank it wow so yum