mom pro tip: packing snacks for the zoo

Do not ask questions.

Do not come at me with Bringing Up Bebe malarkey about snacking.

Just repeat after me:

When you go to the zoo

you either pack NO SNACKS

you pack enough snacks

for every child

in your party.

Not just your own child

slash children -

But

every

child

your

party.

And honestly

if you pack snacks

you can't pack too many.

Once other kids see that the snack bag has been opened

you'll be the pied piper of the penguin exhibit.

Probably

some teenagers will come up to you

and be like

'scuse me

ma'am

I heard there were cheddar bunnies?

And here is the key part -

the snacks that you pack

for every child

in your party

must

exactly

the

same.

great

outstanding
protein
nice touch

love it
nuts are good fat
plus no preservatives

nice work
bringing three pieces each
of two different flavors

be careful though
when you pull them out
you have to make sure that each kid
eats the same flavor
at the same time

you can't be yanking out
two cherries
and a cashew
like some kind of
fucking moron