everyone's got a price

Chicken: I wanna blow on Buster's belly!

Me: I don't think he wants that right now kiddo, but you can blow on my belly!

Chicken: Nah. Your belly is too hairy.

Me: What?

(Chicken walks over to the bookshelf, runs his finger along the spines.)

Me: WHAT?

Chicken: Can I have a treat?

Me: Let's talk.

your honor ladies and gentlemen of the jury the boy recanted of his own free will and signed this affadavit swearing to the natural hairlessness - truly the porcelain velvety freshly-waxed asian smoothness - of my belly again of his own free will no incentives no carrots no sticks well yes he did get a brownie after but that was an unrelated brownie your honor it was a purely circumstantial brownie