moms vs dads

Me: Chicken should be fine for the next hour. I'm just going to run to the store to pick up a clove of garlic.

Ry: I don't know why you just said that out loud.

Me: Hey, you're the one who told me that there's no such thing as a jinx.

Ry: True.

Me: Besides, if Chicken starts to kick up a fuss, we can always just settle him down with--

Ry: -- a mallet.

Me: THE IPAD.

Ry: Oh.

Me: ...

Ry: Not an iron one. I'm not a monster.