a special time for mother and child to bond

I've finally figured out what Buster nursing reminds me of.

You know that scene in Django Unchained when they show the mandingo fight?

Yeah. That.

He comes at my boob with a combo of sorrowful comeraderie and bloodthirsty ferocity. 

He and my boob are slave brothers forced to fight to the death, over and over again. By me.

"Listen. We're in this together, pal. Of everyone in the room only you and I know what it's like to fight this fight. We understand each other. We're brothers, you and me.

And that's why it's gonna be reeeeally hard for me to beat the ever-loving shit out of you. I mean I'm going to be super conflicted while I box the bejeezus out of your ass. Seriously, the image of you, in front if me, begging for mercy, as I kick you, again, again and again... Yeah, that's going to make it really hard for me to sleep tonight. But I am gonna do it anyway, because the boss is watching. Sorry, buddy." 

(deep breath) 

(battle cry)

(latches onto boob with sorrowful brow, and proceeds to flail, buck, and kick violently, popping off every few seconds to release a piercing shriek not unlike that of a majestic bird of prey. Or the new guy in prison who is 17, nerdy, and in for identity theft but has to pick a fight with the neo-Nazi muscle to establish that he's not a victim so he shanks some veiny, small-eyed redneck in the prison laundry in front of a bunch of other guys and screams really high and probably cries a little while he's doing it. Like that kind of shriek.)