MY FIRST TWO YEARS OF PARENTING

by

Disney's Fantasia

and

Katie

This is a silly gif storyboard based on my personal experience of becoming a parent for the first time, so any snark toward a first-time parent should be interpreted only as self-deprecation, and not as personal attacks on other parents.

omg i'm pregnant

i am special

omg i finally look pregnant

not just chubby

people love me

i am the specialest

omg i'm on pinterest

designing the nursery

omg i'm registering

that and that and 2 of those

wheeeeeeeeeeeee

omg thanks for the presents

i never would have spent this much on baby shoes

so glad you came

omg i had the baby

he's cute and i take him to brunch

because nothing it going to change my life

my boobs are awesome right now

omg he already knows row row row your boat

omg look at him

he does the hand thing

omg call yale

omg he is playing soccer

so cute

wait

omg he just wants to spend the whole 30 minutes at the water fountain

it's okay

it's okay

he's just

he's independent is all

we'll work on it

he's still

we can still call yale

omg

put down the peanut butter

wait

did i just say,

"that was unacceptable, young man"

who am i

what is happening

omg

get in the fucking car

omg no

no

no more birthday parties

never again

omg he ate cauliflower

call yale again

call them back

tell them sorry

it's real this time

omg he asked if he could help with the laundry

omg i said yes

omg wait what is he doing with the buckets

omg what is in the buckets

omg is that vegetable oil

omg where did he get 10 gallons of vegetable oil

omg

so

we've made a huge mistake

omg look

look

at all the things i used to love to do

bye-bye marathon running

bye-bye reading books

bye-bye sweaters

bye-bye nooners

bye-bye

omg

he slapped a baby

omg he called that bald guy mr. penis

omg

what does the book say

omg

omg

o--