Why do people have babies?

There are the spiritual reasons:

"I felt like it's my purpose in life."
"God told me to."
"It felt like the right time."
"My wife told me it was the right time."

The practical reasons:

"I want to carry my family into another generation."
"Tax breaks! Hellooo!"
"My parents were bugging me for grandchildren."

The biological reasons:

"I felt a void that only a baby could fill."
"I had an uncontrollable biological urge."

The somewhat less savory reasons:

"My boyfriend was totally cheating on me. Now he'll love me even more."
"Gisele looked so pretty when she was pregnant, plus I hear your nails get really strong."
"One of my friends had a baby. But I'm better than she is, so I have to have TWO babies."
"I was drunk and didn't wrap it before I tapped it... but now I'm really happy I did. I think I unconsciously wanted it. I don't miss my old life at all."


All of these reasons are perfectly valid. (Except that last one. His baby mama is standing behind him with a garrotting wire.)

So why did I have a baby?

Did I feel a void? Not really. I mean, yes, there was a void, but it could pretty much be filled with pizza.

Spiritual yearning? Yes. But again, for pizza.

Peer pressure? I was the first of my close friends to get knocked up, so if anything I was, for the first time in my life, an early adopter, so to speak.

Holy shit.

I have no idea why I had a baby.


Honestly, I'm pretty sure that after the wedding I needed a new project, and our apartment building had a two-pet limit, so we had to think outside the box.

Is that bad?

I should probably tell people it was the spiritual void thing.