I think there's probably a Saturday morning seminar at yoga teacher boot camp about how to say super zen shit with a voice that is equal parts serene, reassuring, and quietly... surprised?

Sometimes I am totally on board:

"Yoga is not about finding a way out. Yoga is about finding... your way in?"
(mind blown)

"The question you must ask yourself is, will you meet chaos with chaos, or will you meet chaos... with calm?"
(double blown)

Sometimes I am not:

"Ask yourself who you want to be, and then ask yourself... what you want to be?"
(why stop there? What about when, where, and why I want to be?)

"Imagine there's no heaven. It's easy... if you try?"
(seriously?)

Guess which one this is?

"As you come into child's pose take a moment to calm your breathing. Imagine a goal that you've set for yourself in 2013. See yourself achieving that goal. Who's with you? Where are you? What are the smells, tastes of that goal? If you're having a hard time visualizing that, we do have freshly-squeezed organic fruit juices by Blueberry Sunset for sale at the desk in reception. Ask yourself how you can incorporate some organic fruit juices into your goals for 2013."